CoSIndies411
Colorado Springs Independent Escorts Information
Frequently Asked Questions

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Most of the answers to these questions are distillations of answers given on discussion boards / forums of The Erotic Review (TER) and The Other Board (TOB) and from miscellaneous other Internet sources.  You are encourage to intvestigate these and other sources further.  They are rich with useful information (amidst some less than useful information, unfortunately).  

Index of questions

• Independents versus Agencies
• 411 on < insert ASP name here > or I'd like to find out more about < insert ASP's name here> 
• What's up with ASPs screening (verifying) clients? 
• What can you tell me about Preferred411? 
• Why do some ASPs ask to see a photo id?  
• Common myths about LE and the hobby. 
• What's the deal with ASP sites/ads with no pictures?  
• What legal considerations are there with this 'hobby'? 
• How do hobbyists avoid getting busted? 
• What about STDs and the hobby?  
• What should my first contact with an ASP include / exclude? 
• ASPs aren't responding to phone and/or emails.  What's the deal?  
• How do I ask ASPs about their services? 
• What about tipping? 
• Should I bring my own condom / cover / rubber ...?
• What denominations should be used in donations? 
• Other related FAQs 

Independents versus Agencies

Short answer: It is fundamentally a matter of preference.  What considerations might guide your preference are your own.  To see what other hobbyists think see the forum posts below.

TOB forum archive 3 year search "agency independent"
Most cogent TOB forum results: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 

411 on < insert ASP name here >

It is expected that you will exercise due diligence in looking for yourself before asking on the board.  If you don't, expect to be flamed.  Here's what you should do (tip: make sure you use the correct "handle"/name for the ASP in your searches; most choose unique ones for the area):

1. Search the most recent TOB reviews. 
2. Search the archived TOB reviews.
3. If you found nothing in the TOB reviews ...
   1. Check to see if they've been restricted from TOB reviews.
   2. Check to see if they've requested no reviews on TOB.
   3. See what the TOB forum has had to say about them by ....
      1. searching the TOB forum's recent posts
      2. searching the TOB forum's archived posts (if you don't find anything initially, then look further back in time by extending the "Posting day range")
4. See if the ASP is on my own list of CoS Independent Escorts 
5. Search TER reviews
6. Is the ASP listed in TER's 'rip-offs' for the Denver area? 
7. Search bear's board reviews 

Once you've done the above 'homework' then you are armed with the necessary information to ask informed questions of the board.

What's up with ASPs screening (verifying) clients?

You are asking the ASP to put them self in a reasonably vulnerable position with you.  It would seem reasonable to expect that they might want some assurance that you aren't (at a minimum) LE or some wacko.  The screening process is one way they attempt to do this.  You get the opportunity to screen the ASPs via numerous review services, their options for finding out about you are limited.

The amount of information required varies from ASP to ASP.  The comfort level of the hobbyist with providing the various bits of information varies with the hobbyist and their circumstances.  

Generally as you get yourself more established as a hobbyist and can provide referrals from other ASPs the amount and nature of the personal information you have to provide diminishes.  

Referral services, such as Preferred411, do exist to make the referral process much easier.  See the next question for more information on Preferred411/P411.

There are widely varying opinions on this topic among hobbyists.  You'll find endless discussion of the topic on the discussion forums/boards.

What can you tell me about Preferred411?

Referral services, such as Preferred411, exist to make the client screening / referral process much easier.  Information on the pros/cons of the Preferred 411 service can be found by searching TOB forum archives using search terms such as "Preferred 411", "P411" and "Preferred411".  It would be great if P411 FAQ actually, in fact, addressed the many 'frequently asked questions', but it does not (about my only complaint with P411).  But what you will find their is information on contacting them.  And if you do so they are very helpful in answering all of your questions.  But if you want to explore the pros/cons here first then I'll provide you with some food for thought that is hopefully a distillation of what you might find in TOB discussion forums referenced below.  In the spirit of full disclosure I am a P411 member and very much recommend it.  

• P411 does not keep any information that identifies clients. 
• While information that might identify a client may be used for initial verification purposes that information is not retained.  
  A client member creates an id of the form "Name-dd-X-dddd" where:
  • All of these fields can contain anything you'd like that adequately (for you) obfuscates your identity.  P411 makes some suggestions for the origin of these fields just to make it easy for members to remember, but you can use whatever you want.
  • "Name" is suggested to be any "first" name or moniker/handle you'd like, apparently "Bob" or "John" is popular.  
  • "dd" is suggested to be the day of the month of your birthday in two digit format, i.e., "01-31", but I'm pretty sure any 2-digit number works.
  • "X" is suggested to be the first letter of the name of the town in which you were born.  I don't know if the field is case sensitive or not or whether it forces it to a capital letter.  
  • "dddd" is suggested to be the last 4 digits of your social security number.  I don't know if the field is forced to be 4 digits or not, but that is implied. 
• P411 servers and owner reside in Canada. 
  Depending upon you views of "Uncle Leo's" reach across international borders it can be argued that this might make it more difficult for Uncle Leo to compell P411 to give up what information it might have.  
• When P411 does identity verification by contacting employers it poses as a financial institution (such as a mortgage company), so employers are not given any reason to believe the employment verification is 'untoward' in any way.  
• Initial identity verification does not require employment verification.  It can be achieved with referrals from two (2) providers in good standing with P411. 
• P411's business relies on its ability to keep client information confidential.  If it can't do that it may as well close its doors.  The owner of P411 has a longstanding record (>10 years) of treating client information with the utmost confidentiality.  
• P411 is a tool to make screening / reference checking easier. 
  Hobbyists can provide references to providers without using P411.  Many do and many providers are fine with that.  
  P411 just makes the whole thing easier in that, given the prospective client's P411 id, the provider can quickly see:
  • Identity has been verified.
  • The number of provider okays. 
  • The names (and contact information for active P411 providers) of providers for any further follow-up.  And, 
  • If the client has chosen to fill it out a profile of varying detail that will help the provider understand the client's hobby-relevant interests in order for the provider to determine if the client would be a 'good match' for the provider.
  With the more ad hoc mechanism the provider will likely need to contact each reference.  This is often time-consuming and difficult (lots of phone tag or email lag time) and tends to put quite a strain on both the provider checking the references and the providers being queried.  With P411 most of the essential information for a reference check is available to the provider 24/7/365 via the provider portal on the P411 website or via phone call to P411.  
• Basic Members of P411 (those who have merely been identity verified, but do not yet have any provider okays) may find that providers will require further screening.  Providers need to keep in mind that Basic Membership in itself is only identity verification and does not afford any provider referrals for that member.  
• Many providers provide discounts for P411 members.  Many members claim that the discounts more than offset the annual cost of the P411 membership.  Providers can join for free. 
• P411 provides additional screening of both clients and providers.  Complaints registered against both clients and providers are dealt with swiftly. 
• When a hobbyist requests an appointment with a provider through P411's "Make An Appointment" link for that provider the provider is given easy access to all of the P411 client member's information in the email sent to her by P411.  This is the easiest and most secure method to make an appointment in that you must be logged in to your P411 member account to do so.  This avoids the problem of someone masquerading as you if you were a little loose with your P411 member id.  They would need your password as well to log into your P411 account.  Likewise, providers should request this method of contact to maximize their security.  
• it is very easy for both clients to request okays and for providers to give okays.  It's a good habit to ask a provider as you are saying your goodbyes after a session if you can request a P411 okay.  Often times you'll have your okay from them before you get logged on again.  And if not all you need to do is use the "Request An Okay" link on the provider's P411 profile page to request the okay. 

Some more recent TOB threads on P411: "Another P411 question", "Earning experience", "Important!! re: P411 Client Ids", "Another dumb question (p411 related)", "P411 Q's", "Preferred 411??", "Preferred 411", "The Preferred-411 Dilemma", "verification service question". 

Here are some searchs of the old TOB discussion forum regarding P411: "Preferred 411" and "P411".

There are widely varying opinions on this topic among hobbyists.  You'll find endless discussion of the topic on the discussion forums/boards.  So much so that it might be difficult to plod through it all.  

See the previous question for a more general discussion of providers screening / reference checking clients.  

Why do some ASPs ask to see a photo id?

It is so they can verify that you are who you say you are.  It is mostly about trying to deal with the 'bad' guys.  They leave information someplace about the identify of their last client.  If something goes really bad their friends or family know who they were last with.  If during the initial photo id check the clients' photo id doesn't jive with the information the client told the ASP before (and which was left back home), the ASP aborts the appointment.  Don't worry, as a general rule the ASP destroys the 'left behind' identity-of-last-client information after the problem-free appointment is completed. 

Sure, photo ids can be forged.  It isn't a certainty.  Nothing is.  It is just a measure.  

It is NOT about verifying that the client isn't LE.  The photo id check wouldn't give them any information about that, unless the client happened to give the ASP their LE photo id.  duh. 

Common myths about LE and the hobby.

• If ask a person if they are LE (and they are) they have to be honest and tell you they are.
• LE can't get naked in the course of the investigation.
• LE can't actually perform a sexual act in the course of the investigation.

What's the deal with ASP sites/ads with no pictures? 

As with most things ... it depends.  There could be no pictures for any one of (or many of) the following reasons:

• The ASP be new and hasn't gotten around to it yet (though this is generally believed to be a bad opening move from the perspective of most clients as many clients have a no-pic - no-go policy).
• The ASP could have privacy concerns.  For example, they do not want to be recognized by friends, colleagues or family casually surfing the web who are not aware of their ASP status.   There is also the creepy stalker, etc. factor as well.  Some ASPs address this with pictures that do not include the face and/or obfuscate the face. 
• The ASP has a bad reputation and has switched monikers and doesn't want to be recognized. 
• The ASP isn't all that proud of their looks (the conclusion often leapt to).  

No pictures can be a red flag for some hobbyists especially if the ASP has no reviews and/or very little information exists on the ASP.    

Some ASPs with no pictures on their ads or web sites can have lots of reviews that attest to the quality of their looks.  

Direct requests to the ASPs for pictures can be made, especially after you have gone through some form of qualification process.  

What legal considerations are there with this 'hobby'?

• Relevant information offered by Gustafson Law Office (CoS) 
• Top 10 Things NOT to Do If Arrested
• ACLU wallet guide - What To Do If You Are Stopped By The Police 

How do hobbyists avoid getting busted?

• see "What legal considerations are there with this 'hobby'?" above
• The only reliable way to avoid getting busted is to not participate.  But if you are going to hobby, the ways to minimize your risk of arrest include:
  • Don't in any way say or commit to any recordable format that you are in fact exchanging money (or anything of value) for sex.
  • Use ASPs that have good, long, well-reviewed track records.  
• TER's 'Legal Corner' 

What about STDs and the hobby?

In general any STD advice you can get on a hobbyist forum / board will be of questionable value (including right here).   Seek advice / facts from medical professionals.  

In general though common sense dictates that the hobby is inherently risky.  You have to weigh the risks against the benefits, figure out the cogent considerations and make your own decisions.  Some useful resources in making good decisions include:

• Genital herpes faq (from medhelp.org)  
• The STD forum (from medhelp.org) 
• Center for Disease Control and Prevention - STDs 
• San Francisco City Clinic's STD Risk Chart 
• Colorado Springs AnyLabTest.com 

What should my first contact with an ASP include / exclude?

The see the topic dealing with "ASPs aren't responding to phone and/or emails. What's the deal?".  It covers the does and don'ts of contact content.  

ASPs aren't responding to phone and/or emails. What's the deal?

It could be any number of things.  

• The most essential thing to avoid is mentioning anything about rates and/or services in your communication with ASPs.  
• For telephone calls/messages make sure the number from which you are calling is not blocked.  Many ASPs will not answer calls from or respond to voice mails from blocked numbers.  You can unblock and individual call by preceding it with *82.  
• Review the contact information section of the ASP's web site or ad.  Some have preferences for how they like to be contacted, and for some this is especially true for first-time contacts.  
• For the sake of discretion, if more than a certain small amount of time (say 10 minutes) has passed since you left your message an ASP will not call you back unless you explicitly tell them it is okay to do so in your message.  This is to avoid creating potential embarrassing or uncomfortable circumstances for you.  
• The more specific you can be in your message (within previously mentioned limitations) the better and the more likely a busy ASP will be to return your email or call.  For example, specify the timeframe for which you'd like to make an appointment and if the ASP offers both in-call and outcall services specify which of those you are seeking.  
• If you have references mention them in your message.  If you don't state that as well (you'll get points for being forthright). 
• Do your homework.  Don't ask questions that are answered on the ASP's web site or by the ASPs readily available ads.  
• Mention where you found about about the ASP.  It helps to affirm that you've done your homework.  
• If you are a newbie, state it up front.  It will become clear anyway and by admitting it you will be going a long way to establishing a better relationship.  It can help the ASP be a little more tolerant of your foibles as well.  
• A debatable point is to tell the ASP a little about yourself.  Avoid being too wordy though.  You don't want to come across as being too high-maintenance. 
• It probably goes without saying, but if you are rude, crude and disrespectful, don't expect to get a reply. 
• Don't always assume that a lack of reply from a particular ASP is a deliberate shun.  Sometimes they have technical difficulties with their voice mail and/or email.  Or the phone connection was poor when you left the message or you did not enunciate your very well (especially your phone number).  If one medium doesn't work try the other.  On the other hand don't be a pest.   
• They may be out of town.  Try back some other time. 
• Has anybody ever told you that your voice sounds creepy (e.g., like Jack Nicholson's)?  If so, you might not want to use the phone.  
• And then again you may just be being rejected for some reason.  Get over it and move on. 

How do I ask ASPs about their services?

Until you get a rapport built with a particular ASP this is difficult since one of the hard and fast rules is to never discuss or imply that you are paying for sexual services.  

Many ASPs will terminate any preliminary dialogues with you that touch on price or services.  Their web sites or ads usually always specify price for a given period and general type of service.  If they offer 'levels' of service in general terms (e.g. 'full service' or something less like 'fbsm'), then when contacting them it is appropriate to use the terms that they use on their web site to indicate what level of service you are interested in and in the duration of time you would like to spend with them.  Beyond that, don't discuss any more detail for your own protection and if you want the dialogue to continue. 

The best way to gain  this information is to read the reviews for the ASP in question.  If those reviews have a track record for providing the services in question you can probably assume that it might be available to you.  However, it is not always the case (YMMV) that the service will be available to you, since many factors (e.g., your hygiene or how the ASP is feeling that day) can influence service availability.  

Some referral services offer means of describing your service interests and preferences.  Preferred411 offers this services for their subscribers.  You can suggest to a provider that if they are interested in finding out more about you that they review the available information on you at this site.  It also gives them access to any referrals you may have garnered.  

If you have a modicum of web savvy to the degree of being able to create a simple web site on one of the free and anonymous web site services (e.g., freewebs or geocities) you can also post similar information on your web site.  You can couch it in terms of your fantasy or some other form of fiction.   You don't have to have the file accessible from the front page of the web.  You can just create the file and then in an email to the ASP you can give her the URL directly to the file indicating that this URL contains some information she might find interesting.   It is then up to the ASP to decide whether to let you know what portion of that fantasy is or is not interesting to her (in varying degrees of subterfuge / vagueness).  

The reality of the situation is that you don't really know until you get into it.  That is just the nature of the hobby.   It is much less of an issue once you have a relationship built up with a set of providers and you provide them with repeat business.   But if you prefer being adventurous and trying new and/or unreviewed ASPs, then the uncertainty goes with that territory.  

What about tipping?

Always read the information on the ASP's web site to see if it mentions anything about this.  However, in general, the ASPs are professionals and do not not expect a tip.  Many appreciate it, though some few may not care for it.  As with the donation, be discrete in leaving it.  

Should I bring my own condom / cover / rubber ...?

Any reputable ASP will have all that you need and provide it.  There are those rare cases where they may run out, so it is always advisable to be prepared and bring your own.  There is nothing worse then being ready and not being able to proceed.  The same can be said for lubricant.  

Some ASPs may have strong preferences about using the ones they provide.  If they do they will usually tell you why and their reasons are probably good ones, so don't quibble about it.  It usually has to do with their body's sensitivity to certain materials and/or additives.  

If you are the adventurous sort and are visiting the less well-reviewed or well-known ASPs it is interesting to note that some less-than-reputable ASPs may pull the "whoops, I don't have a condom with me, need to go get one" ploy to take the donation and run.  If you are prepared you can circumvent that situation, though what might be in store for you after that ... who knows.  At a minimum it may raise a yellow flag for the hobbyist.

What denominations should be used in donations?

Opinions vary but one thing is for sure ... use the legal tender of the region.  The general leaning seemed to be toward using larger denominations (e.g., 100s and/or 50s) to make it easier to count and a less bulky envelope.  

Other related FAQs ...

• Perkel's FAQ 

Disclaimer:

A reasonable attempt is made to provide accurate and up-to-date information, however no warranty of the accuracy of the information is made or implied.  Your feedback in pointing out inaccuracies or out-of-date information is appreciated (see feedback below).

Feedback

Constructive feedback and suggestions for addition FAQs (preferrably with answers) can be sent to cosindies <at> yahoo.com.  If you are just going to bitch, moan and flame then don't bother sending anything. 

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This page last updated: 24 December 2008